Lark: Cory and I decided to write a blog post. We have a lot of new followers, which is pretty exciting. It feels good to be so popular, but we figure you won’t stick around if we don’t tell you some new stories! Mom’s been acting like a puppy just let out of their crate. It’s like she’s got the zoomies!
Cory: Lark, don’t say that Mom is acting like a puppy! They’ll think she’s peeing on the floor!
Lark: They know Mom doesn’t pee on the floor, you dope. Mom pees in the fancy water bowl which makes no sense to me.
Cory: Mom’s retired. She promised once she retired, she would never go to work and leave me again, but she lied. She’s gone a lot, and when she is home, she is putting stuff in piles and carrying a notebook around. Retirement is just not what I dreamed it would be.
Lark: Mom’s just getting ready to go on our big trip. There are a lot of things that she has to think about. She has to make sure we have what we will need for seven months! She has to make sure we have our coats and our medicines. Our food bowls and our beds.
Cory: I just wish she would sit down and rub my head for a little while. I miss her.
Lark: Give her a break. Once we head off in the truck, she’ll have nothing to do but tell Dad where to go and pet us. That is if we can get to the front seat. I don’t like those new seat belts that they bought.
Cory: Well, at least it keeps you from hogging the whole seat! Last time we went somewhere, I had to lie on the floor!
Lark: You better get used to the floor. I am a big girl and need a lot of room to spread out. And no more complaining when I’m touching you!
Cory: What’s going to happen if we start on our trip and realize that we forgot something? I hope she remembers my squirrel stuffie.
Lark: That’s my squirrel stuffie. And I know what she’ll do because I heard Dad say it. He said, “Cathy, you don’t need so much stuff.” Well, he didn’t say stuff, he said a bad word, but I won’t repeat it here. He said, “If we don’t have it, we’ll buy it along the way.”
Cory: You think you are so smart, where are we going first?
Lark: After one night in north Florida, we are going to New Orleans where there is always a party! I can’t wait to take a walk on Bourbon Street. I heard there are a lot of gross smells and trash cans to get into.
Cory: Well, you aren’t so smart after all. I heard Mom talking on the phone, and she cancelled our reservations in New Orleans. She said she didn’t want to go to any big towns because she is worried about some kind of virus. Probably something you find in trash cans. We are going to Mississippi instead.
Lark: That’s okay, I can make my own fun. We have a trash can in the trailer, too.
Cory: Didn’t you see that new trash can she bought? It has a lid on it.
Lark: Oh. Well, I’ll find a way to get the lid off. We’re still going to have fun. And we leave one week from today!
Cory: One week! I better make sure my squirrel gets packed.
Lark: It’s my squirrel, you dork!